hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
