I'm really into asian looking animals
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
be right there i have to get my cape
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
