I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
