I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
