no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
