As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
