Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pappa wants mamma naked
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
