Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
