she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
