I'm drive I can fine osifer
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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