I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i drank out of a bidet.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
