im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
