On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
