i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize