me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
