Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
