when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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