I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
