How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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