well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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