I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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