don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
