she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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