I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
