Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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