My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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