I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
