I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
