I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
