UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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