Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
