I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
