Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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