There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
