He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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