i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
