I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
