oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
