I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize