We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize