I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Everything about him screamed your future.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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