so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
