so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize