i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just found puke in my bra..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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