We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
