it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
