I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
