This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
