You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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