I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
