There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize