based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ttyl tear gas
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
