My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
