He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize