A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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