I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
