i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize