I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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