i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
