he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
