How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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